Posts by Closer to Fine

31

I need some advice please

by JaMu in

i am a non-jw girl dating a jw man for almost 5 years now since end of high school.

most of the relationship has been long distance.

when we started dating, we wanted a serious long term relationship that would end in marriage one day.

Closer to Fine

his parents will be looking at you as a potential convert which will be why their reaction was claimed to be not so negative. I suspect in reality, they reacted more strongly than was indicated to you

Incognito is correct. This is exactly what happened to me. For years my spouses family was pretty nice to me most of the time. Although they often called me 'worldly' and I hate that term. The reason they were kind most of the time is because they held out hope they could convert me someday. When they started pressing me pretty hard to get baptized I said I wasn't interested in becoming a jw. Since then the only time I hear from them is if they need money (sadly, I'm not joking). Please continue your research before you commit to marrying a jw.

31

I need some advice please

by JaMu in

i am a non-jw girl dating a jw man for almost 5 years now since end of high school.

most of the relationship has been long distance.

when we started dating, we wanted a serious long term relationship that would end in marriage one day.

Closer to Fine

Please read Carla's post multiple times - it is the hard truth! I too am a ubm and can confirm that being married to a jw is very difficult at times. For years mine was inactive and we actually did holidays and lead a pretty normal life. Now things have changed and all of the jw 'requirements' are back in our life. No holidays etc... (although I did xmas last year on my own) my spouse didn't participate at all. That part I'm actually ok with. The part I'm not ok with is that even though I haven't changed much over the years, now since the jw mindset has kicked back in, I am now considered a follower of satan. My spouse has no problem telling me this either. I don't attend any church and I'm still considered to be on satans team and not jehovahs. My point is that even if your boyfriend doesn't seem like an uber-jw (and he's not at this point if he is dating you, a 'worldly girl') things can change as the years go on and if he decides to become more involved with his religion your life will most likely become much more difficult because of it.

When I was young and married a jw I knew nothing about them and their beliefs. If I was young again and faced with your choice I would pass and look for someone else that I'm more compatible with. My advice is do a lot more research on the jws before you marry him so at a minimum at least you will know what you're getting yourself into. I wish you the best and welcome you to the forum.

40

Wife is Awake

by freemindfade in

following the news of stuckinarut2, over the past few months my wife has completely mentally woken up.

i've been meaning to post but haven't had the time.

i saw stuckins post and i figured i'd add my news too.

Closer to Fine

So happy to read this tonight! Congrats to you and your wife! What a fantastic way to start out the new year together. Reading this news from you and stuckinarut2 made my day. It gives all of us hope for our situations at home that sometimes seem hopeless. Thank you for sharing.

38

"Life is so hard!...tribulation and problems abound!" Persecution complex of witnesses.....

by stuckinarut2 in

the meeting this week is mind-blowing in the way it fuels the crippling "persecution complex" of witnesses!.

paragraph 1 set the theme with this gem:.

does it shock you that you can expect to face many tribulations before you gain the prize of everlasting life?

Closer to Fine

Yes, isn't satan supposed to be corrupting the entire world? You would think that would keep him quite busy! Where does he find the time to focus so much directly towards the jws on a daily basis?

38

"Life is so hard!...tribulation and problems abound!" Persecution complex of witnesses.....

by stuckinarut2 in

the meeting this week is mind-blowing in the way it fuels the crippling "persecution complex" of witnesses!.

paragraph 1 set the theme with this gem:.

does it shock you that you can expect to face many tribulations before you gain the prize of everlasting life?

Closer to Fine

I so agree! My husband and his family are constantly talking about how they are personally being persecuted and everything is doom and gloom (it is like food to them and they do seem to thrive on it). Even when their lives are for the most part going well, satan is still going after them (and them alone) in some way. When their lives aren't going well it is of no fault of their own. It can all be blamed on satan. It's really a very sad way to live.

24

Did You Get Invited to the Memorial?

by Ding in

i'm just wondering if jws keep inviting you back or if they've given up on you.. they haven't invited me for years..

Closer to Fine

I've received more pressure to attend the memorial this year than ever before. My decision not to go did not go over well and I don't know what to expect from the JW's in my family now. Some of them already shun me even though I'm not baptized, so maybe all of them will shun me now. That will just be more proof to me that their love is conditional. I guess I'll find out tomorrow.

59

Sweet 16 - Happy Birthday to Us !

by Simon in

it's the forum's 16th birthday today!.

amazing that not only have we lasted so long but we're still thriving and growing.. thanks to all the people and often colorful characters who've contributed to the site over the years.

some are still here with us, some have since moved on, but all have touched each others lives in some way along our different journeys.. .

Closer to Fine

When I first came to this site I was seeking answers to questions I had while studying. I was in an uncomfortable situation and was afraid to ask them. I read posts everyday and well.... let's just say my questions were answered and I knew there was no way I would ever be baptized as a JW. In that sense this site truly did save my life! Thank you so much to Simon and to all who have posted and helped me learn. I appreciate it more than words can convey

32

Every Know Anyone Too "Weak" To Wake Up?

by freemindfade in

a jw that is probably irregular, they don't really attend meetings, they are not up on anything going on, they may even seem like they are faded but they are not, they are just slackers.

a jw that is impervious to the f.o.g.

(ok maybe it bums them, but they are too lazy and self serving to do otherwise).

Closer to Fine

Lostwun, I thought I was the only one too! Living with a part-time jw has it's challenges for sure. I'm never sure which personality I'm coming home to after work each night. Sometimes things are normal, sometimes I'm in for a lecture on how I'm letting satan mislead me and I'd better hurry up and get baptized because "the doors on the arc are starting to close"

32

Every Know Anyone Too "Weak" To Wake Up?

by freemindfade in

a jw that is probably irregular, they don't really attend meetings, they are not up on anything going on, they may even seem like they are faded but they are not, they are just slackers.

a jw that is impervious to the f.o.g.

(ok maybe it bums them, but they are too lazy and self serving to do otherwise).

Closer to Fine

FMF, thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it. Yes, it's a toxic environment right now. There is substance abuse as well and that's worse to deal with than the jw behavior. He has never lived as an actual jw, regular meetings, field service, etc. He has always been able to lead a double life and puts on a different personality in front of family. Yet he'll still defend the jws because it's the truth....you know, because the society says it is

Very happy to hear your wife is coming around

32

Every Know Anyone Too "Weak" To Wake Up?

by freemindfade in

a jw that is probably irregular, they don't really attend meetings, they are not up on anything going on, they may even seem like they are faded but they are not, they are just slackers.

a jw that is impervious to the f.o.g.

(ok maybe it bums them, but they are too lazy and self serving to do otherwise).

Closer to Fine

This describes my husband as well. Inactive, leads the life of one of those 'oh so wicked horrible worldly people', and knows very little of jw history or current events. Thanks to this site and others I know more about jws than he does and he was raised one. He struggles to know what to say when he tries to defend jw views. I want to cry when I hear him say "the society says its true so it is". When it comes to religion, in his eyes I am nothing but a worldly person who is being misled by satan and therefore my opinion means nothing. It is very frustrating at times! I am getting closer and closer to walking away from it all